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Confession #5644

11/09/2020

I used to live with my best friend but he didn’t know I had relapsed on meth. On my birthday one day I asked him if I could own the apartment to myself (I told him I was going to acquire a girl over). He said yes and left for the day. As soon as he was gone I shot up a bunch of meth. I immediately got horny as fuck. I’m normally a straight male but on meth I immediately become a sex starved cock addicted sissy slut... I can’t help it. I watched watching crossdresser porn and got even hornier. So I went in his closet and found a bunch of his exes clothes (they lived together for a while and she had just recently moved out). I took a shower and shaved my legs and body and pubes and assh

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For years, gay men and queer people have used drugs to intensify sex and to detect connection and love in unfriendly communities. To care for each other, we have to perceive each other and move past shame and stigma. We aren’t alone in wanting love, bliss, and good sex.

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I had started out as a “straight” no-reciprocation type foremost, just looking to get my cock sucked or to dump a load in a guy’s ass without any reciprocation.

Part 7

*****

The events in this story took place in the Spring of 2001 in Phoenix, AZ. All participants in these sex acts were over 18 and all sex was consensual.

As I noted in my first story, I wrote and posted stories about this phase of my life back in about 2007, under a similar screenname (that I’ve long since lost access too). One of those stories is on this site. Other stories were posted on other story-sharing sites. Those stories made it very (probably too) clarify that I was using a well-known party favor and it kicked my sexual excesses into overdrive. I’ve decided to tone down the description of drug use considerably in this story. But this whole weekend I’m going to describe was a party where Tina was with me constantly, if you recognize what I mean.

In those stories I described how I had befriended my supplier of party favors. We would frequent the bathhouses together and, when I wasn’t working, I would hook out with him and accompany him on his various errands around

2

Twenty One

Chapter:

2.Twenty One

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I met my ex, Anthony, on a hook-up website. He was ridiculously hot. I consideration to myself, I would do practically anything to possess sex with this guy. We met up at a sauna and had an all-night PNP session. I was off my meet, but it was so enjoyable, the sensation of entity high. All of my senses were engaged.

Most importantly – at the day, anyway – I felt that my use was the thing that facilitated hooking up with this guy. I wanted him and he wanted me. Whether that was because of the drugs or not, I couldn’t tell. In that moment all that mattered was that he wanted me.

After we left, I went home and I had my couple of days approach down. As I returned to sobriety, the negative thoughts returned, the narrative that told me I was wanted only because I’d used, that the attraction was synthetic, that I was the same person as I was before: fat, hideous, and undesirable.

I didn’t expect to notice from Anthony again. A few days later, though, he called me and asked if I just wanted to hang out. No drugs. No sex. Just hang out and get to know each other.

I was bowled over. Not only was this guy incredibly hot